Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Most Offensive Album Covers, Pt. 1

A Facebook friend posted a status message that was a quote from The Scorpions "Rock You Like A Hurricane."  I remember seeing The Scorpions in concert in 1985 (maybe), so I was poking around on the Web seeing what they've been up to.  I happened to run across a couple of their album covers from the late '70s and the '80s, and I was pretty shocked by what they got away with.

I remember the "Love At First Sting" cover, with the man lifting the woman's leg and practically doing her standing up.  But her clothes were on and it was mostly implied.  Check out this one, though:

 
The Lovedrive cover from 1979. I think that's supposed to be bubblegum, or taffy, but it looks like something more solid and suggestive when viewed at this tiny size.  Either way, it's pretty disgusting.
In the tamer but more degrading category we have:


Animal Magnetism, circa 1980.  I don't know for sure, but I think this may be the inspiration for the album cover suggested in Rob Reiner's comedy This is Spinal Tap.

In the movie, the album is called "Smell the Glove." The record exec (Bobbi Fleckman, played by Fran Drescher long before The Nanny) describes the cover as "You put a greased naked woman on all fours, with a dog collar around her neck, and a leash, and a man's arm extended out, holding onto the leash and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it."

When informed that K-Mart would not carry the album because of the sexist cover, Nigel says "What's wrong with sexy?" Upon learning there's a difference between "sexist" and "sexy", the boys deliver the famous line: "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."

But The Scorpions were much naughtier than this.  We didn't get to see this next one in America (for a reason that's about to become obvious), but the original "Virgin Killer" LP had this cover:

 
Yep.  That's a pre-pubescent girl, completely naked, in a provocative pose, with a strategically placed graphic star twinkle.  And the album is called "Virgin Killer." This is just post #1 of the Most Offensive Album Cover posts, but honestly, I can't believe I'm going to find anything worse than this.