Irresponsible Headlines

Headline: Ringo is Dead What did you think when you saw that? Yeah, me too. The least talented (but equally famous) member of The Beatles seems to have died. Or not. The headline is for Hall of Famer and Green Bay Packers "great" Jim Ringo. I've never heard of him. I've watched sports since the early 70s...thousands of football games. Never heard the name. I worked as a sports producer in television. Never heard of him. My not having heard his name does not diminish how great he was -- if he was great -- but if I've never heard of him, I think it's fair to say that "Ringo is Dead" will not trigger Jim Ringo in the minds of the general public. I bet 90% of those in Green Bay, Wisconsin, thought of a drummer first and a football player second.

God's Law

Another feature of the South (and perhaps elsewhere): A Jacksonville (FL) sheriff's office car has a Jesus fish on it.

Decline of the Eyebrow

This may be a Southern thing, but I've noticed a lot of 18-25 year old women shaving their eyebrows completely off, and then re-drawing them. Someone explain this to me. I understand many women don't like their eyebrow shape, and while I think that's pretty silly -- I've never heard a guy say something positive or negative about a woman's eyebrows, as long as there are two -- the thought they would re-draw them, rather than re-shape them, is ludicrous. They don't even look like eyebrows. They take some kind of makeup pencil and draw a skinny little half-McDonald's arch in deep brown. No one's eyebrows are shaped like that. No one's eyebrows are that color. No one's eyebrows consist of a smooth edged line. I'd say these people look like hookers, except hookers are smart enough not to draw on their eyebrows because they know it will hurt business. Who is going to tell these women the truth?

New Pig

Scientists claim they've found a new species of wild pig in the Brazilian jungle. I'm not exactly sure why it is news today, considering that the Dutch scientist who found it said he made the discovery in 2000. Anyway, according to the scientist:

I sensed there was something behind me and looked over my shoulder and saw three huge peccaries walking in a row," he said in an interview. "They came and disappeared like ghosts without making any sounds. That was atypical of peccaries, who always go around making lots of noise.

That description is a little overdramatized. I spent a week in the Peruvian jungle. Yes, peccaries are quite loud, and if these are quiet, that's pretty cool. However, your ears are not the first to detect their presence...your nose is. These things smell B-A-D. You smell them before you hear them. They travel in packs, and the smell is overpoweringly pungent. So how did the scientist get surprised when he looked over his shoulder to see a little peccary family? I've got to believe he smelled them first. The scientist is an interesting guy, though. He just spent 16 months in a Brazilian prison because he auctioned off the naming rights to some of the species he has discovered in the Amazon. The proceeds from the auctions are used to preserve the wild areas where they live. Kudos Dr. van Roosmalen.

Cowboy Up

Do ya' like Cowboy poetry podna? Well, the 24th annyal National Cowboy Poetry Gathering l'be Jan 26-Feb 2. in Elko, Nevada. You can now git yer tickets online. If yer a big spender, $155 l'git ya a ranch toor. But fer only $11, you can take a yodelin' workshop. Think I'm overdoing it? Maybe, but the official site says this:

...we look forward to pondering our individual role in shaping the West's future and also finding comfort in those things that are continuous - finding those solid horns to grab onto for the wild ride ahead.

I don't even know what that last part means. You will be comforted to know, however, that the site proclaims Mexicans are now welcome. A nice change of pace from the first 23 gatherings.

Maura Tierney

Remember when she was on Newsradio and was cute? I don't watch ER, but I just saw a preview while watching a good show, and she looks horrible. Fleshy faced and unhealthy. Maybe ER should hire Dave Foley. The show would certainly improve and maybe Maura would benefit from an occasional laugh.

Infotainment

NBC's top news anchor, Brian Williams, is hosting Saturday Night Live. When did we get to the point where the people we are relying on for accurate news reporting are appearing on variety comedy shows? No wonder we can't tell what's news and what's entertainment. Meanwhile, the truly entertaining Katie Couric is being de-personalized so she can deliver the news. We loved her before. Now that she's anchoring CBS news, she isn't allowed to be the person we liked. Why? Because she's a woman, and we can't take women seriously (apparently) unless they subvert their personalities and turn into robots. Yet Brian Williams can do bawdy skits on comedy shows.