The F***ers at the FCC

This morning I was reading a Supreme Court case, FCC v. Fox Television Stations.  The legal issue relates to the FCC's ability to ban "obscene, indecent, or profane language" on television (or radio).  I don't really keep up with this issue, so I was surprised to see the following things in this opinion:

• Justice Scalia, writing for the majority, was unable to use the words "fuck" and "shit" in the opinion, preferring "f***" (or F-Word) and "s***" (or S-Word).  C'mon, in a Supreme Court opinion?  Are children reading this opinion?  
  
• In 2004, the FCC went bananas about Bono's comment during the Golden Globe Awards:  "This is really, really, fucking brilliant."  Initially the FCC's enforcement bureau said it was no big deal, because it was used only once, and as an intensifier.  The FCC gets more upset if you use the word literally (e.g., "she fucked him") than non-literally (e.g., "fucking awesome!").  However, even non-literal usage will get you in trouble if there are repeated instances.  Nevertheless, on review the FCC decided this was a terrible event, writing:

[G]iven the core meaning of the "F-Word," any use of that word...inherently has a sexual connotation.  [It is] patently offensive [because it] is one of the most vulgar, graphic and explicit descriptions of sexual activity in the English language.

• The present case related to Cher's comment during the Billboard Music Awards that "I've also had critics for the last 40 years saying that I was on my way out every year.  Right.  So fuck 'em." and Nicole Richie saying "Have you ever tried to get cow shit out of a Prada purse?  It's not so fucking simple."  In addition to repeating its comments about the "F-Word" from the Bono situation, the FCC added that Ms. Richie's "explicit description of the handling of excrement [was] vulgar and shocking."  In addition, the FCC said Cher's use of "fuck" was not an intensifier, but was directly related to a sexual act.
• The FCC asserted, and the Supreme Court agreed, that even one-time references to "fuck" and "shit" can constitute a "harmful 'first blow' to children."

This makes me wonder what kind of bubble people are living in.  I'm not suggesting that children be encouraged to use "fuck" and "shit" while eating their mac and cheese, or responding to a teacher's question about who chopped down the cherry tree.  But to pretend that children have these virgin ears is ridiculous.  I've met some 10 year olds with a vocabulary of sexual euphemisms that I had to look up in the urban dictionary.

I'm not a big fan of the word "shit."  It strikes me as a sordid and crass use of language.  But each to his taste -- I don't feel that way about "fuck" or "goddammit" for example.  Nor do I find the word "shit" obscene or indecent.  If Nicole Richie had said "Have you ever tried to get cow poop/doodoo/excrement/manure out of a Prada purse?" would the FCC had said anything at all?  Every kid knows what poop and doodoo are.  They see it three times a day (if they are healthy). 

And please explain to me how "fucking brilliant" is indicative of a sexual act.  Women, when you hear a man say "That's fucking awesome" do your loins get tingly?  Guys, when a woman says "It's fucking beautiful outside" do you immediately look for something to cover your crotch with?

Maybe it is a generational thing.  I had a 50 year old colleague tell me that she would not use the words "defendant got screwed in this case" in front of 25 year old graduate students, because it connoted sexual activity.  The youngest of us found that hard to believe, because it was clearly not referring to sex. 

And finally, for every "fuck" and "shit" that accidentally escapes over the television airwaves, there are literally 1,000 sexual and excrement references on television shows every single night.  There are entire shows built around these concepts.  Two And A Half Men?  Big Bang Theory?  How I Met Your Mother? 

Now if you'll excuse me, writing this has made me a little, well, frisky.