I've had enough with Christmas giving from parents, siblings and similar relations, and I mean that in two ways.
A: I have received enough Christmas presents in the last (roughly) 40 years to last me a lifetime. I don't need any more.
B: In particular, I don't need a gift if you have no idea what to get me and are just buying it because you think you are supposed to. If you think of something really interesting that I haven't thought of and I can't afford, bring it on. Otherwise, let's not do it just to do it.
Something happens when you reach a certain age. I'm not sure what age that is...somewhere in the late 30s. You become so independent of your family that they have no idea what to buy you anymore, so they buy you the things you might have liked (maybe) 10 years ago. Or they realize they don't know what to get you, and they ask you what you want. Well, what's the point of buying me a present if I'm telling you what to buy me? Then it's just a question of who is doing the shopping and who is spending the money.
Why don't we just buy ourselves gifts instead of telling other people what we want and having them buy it?
Now, I recognize an exception if the people you are asking have a lot more money than you and are willing to spend it on gifts. Then you should ask. And don't be shy.
However, many of us (if not most) will be more succesful than our parents, so what can we ask them for? Everything they can afford is something we would have already bought for ourselves at some point during the year. And what we really want is often something they cannot afford or would not know how to buy (e.g., anything involving technology).
Gift certificates are almost always nice, because they may prompt us to buy a luxury item, even if the gift certificate does not cover the entire cost. If you get a $40 gift certificate to Best Buy and buy a camera, it's like getting a $40 discount. That's a good gift.
Unfortunately family members, especially parents, are stubborn about gift certificates. They don't like them because they want to buy you something "special." This is delusional, because they no longer no what would be special. And what's weird is, they know it! They are just guessing, and hoping. Or they ask you, which of course takes anything "special" out of the equation.
I think it's because they want to see your little face light up the way it did when you were 6 and got every toy you begged for during the year. Hate me for it, but them days are gone daddy gone.
None of this means you cannot enjoy the holidays with your family.
If you must buy gifts for a parent, sibling, child (or similar), do what I do. Pay attention during the year to what they want. Keep a little list. Then you don't have to ask what they want. And unless it is fad-related and the fad has ended, they will be surprised that you bought them something they really want. That's what makes people feel special. If you wait until December, forget it and get a gift card. Otherwise, you are just faking it.
A post for another time, but I'm trying to decide which I like less: Christmas shopping or buying people gifts for weddings I'm invited to but cannot attend. I haven't done a proper analysis, but my money's on the latter.
