Infomercials make some of the most ridiculous and stupid statements you'll find anywhere. Always has been that way, and always will.
But today, I heard what I deem to be the dumbest statement I've ever heard on an infomercial, or perhaps on television generally (not sure about that, because they say some stupid shit on local news). The product was the SteamMop. The obnoxious male salesperson said that filling up the SteamMop was "1,000 times easier than using a bucket."
How can anything be easier than using a bucket? That's like saying something is easier to eat off of than a plate.
But even if I could think of filling this vessel as somehow being easier than filling up a bucket, I don't know how it could be 1,000 times easier. I mean, almost every object I can think of is at least 1.1 times more difficult to use than a bucket.
Plus, how you would measure such a thing? It can't be a physical measurement, like the difference between the exertion required to fill a bucket and the exertion required to fill the SteamMop. Both require turning the water on, and then carrying the vessel holding the water.
Perhaps it is a mental measurement? Maybe scientists hired by the SteamMop company hired 1,000 extraordinarily stupid people, each of whom is uniquely stupid on a sliding scale from merely stupid to so incredibly stupid that they barely rise above the cellular level. In the experiments, all 1,000 were able to use the SteamMop-- even the near-paramecia -- but only the smartest of the stupid people was able to use a bucket. And there you have it. The SteamMop is 1,000 times easier.
You think such an experiment is impossible? I doubt it. You could probably find people on the west side of Jacksonville who would fit each of those 1,000 slots. And it wouldn't cost the company much. You could promise them a million dollars each, but if they are all challenged by buckets, you could certainly find a way not to pay them. Might even be able to get them to pay you.
