Jaan Pehechaan Ho

One of my favorite movies of all time is Ghost World (2001).  It stars a young Scarlett Johansson, Thora Birch (American Beauty) and Steve Buscemi (Fargo).

The movie opens with Thora Birch's character dancing in her room to a video she is watching.  Today, listening to an NPR discussion of Bollywood movies, I remembered the video her character was watching.  Jaan Pehechaan Ho, from the Indian film Gumnaam.

Enjoy!

Punxsutawney Phil in Jacksonville

I posted something earlier about the local school system, and it was on the serious side.  But I was looking back at one I did a couple of weeks ago about Groundhog Day, and I got to thinking: What if Punxsutawney Phil lived in Jacksonville?  (side note:  according to this web site, the Punxsutawney Phil Beanie Baby is no longer available!)

Back to Phil in Jax:


First, we've established that groundhogs live about 10 years or so.  I don't know if the dog-years calculation applies.  They are groundhogs, not grounddogs.  In any event, Phil is around school age.  I don't care whether he's 50 or 60 in groundhog years.  If his birth certificate says 6 or older, he's got to be in school.  It's the law.  Unless he's outside workin' on daddy's truck.

Second, I imagine that Phil's parents, if living, did not have a steady income.  Phil's gonna have to go to public school.  He can dream about running track or playing tennis at The Bolles School, but it ain't gonna happen.

Third, Phil has little legs.  He won't be walking to school (too far) or biking (pedals too far away).  It's the bus for Phil.  He's gonna get picked on.  But for once, his species will be on the bus, not under it.


Fourth, poor Phil's little groundhog liver, kidneys and pancreas are gonna be in turmoil when he gets done eatin' at the school cafeteria.  Groundhogs don't survive long on name brand sodas, pizza and Doritos.  Or as listed on the Duval County school cafeteria menu:  "Brain Fud"

Fifth, Phil will be the top student in his class, as he will be the only member of the class without an Xbox 360 and a copy of Guitar Hero. 

Sixth, there will be some social awkwardness.  The tiny lice that so merrily prance in his fur as part of a perfectly natural symbiotic relationship will not be appreciated by his classmates' parents when they appear in little Madison and Taylor's carefully placed hair.

Seventh, following a Jacksonville schoolboy tradition, on February 2 when Phil pops his head out of the hole and sees his shadow, he'll whip out a glock and fire three slugs into his shadow's pea-sized brain.  That is, if the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office doesn't open fire on the shadow first.  Either way, won't be six weeks of winter next year!

School Funding

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know about statewide budget cuts in Florida, and everywhere else.  Explain to me why those budget cuts are hitting schools as hard as they are hitting other areas.  Shouldn't schools be insulated, at least somewhat, from the economy?

Perhaps that's why Americans do not have confidence in our place in the world.  We know -- because we hear it on the news all the time -- that our schools are slipping.  With each passing year, kids are getting less in the way of education, arts and physical activity. 

By the time they get to undergrad, it's too late to fix the problem.  Many undergraduate programs are reduced to video presentations in huge classes, or conducted online, with minimal little direct contact or feedback.  And that was before the undergrad institutions faced budget cuts! 

Why then are public schools suffering in the budget crunch?  Can't something else suffer disproportionately?  

In Jacksonville, school money has taken a back seat for a long time -- all the way in the back of the bus -- to the Sheriff's office.  We have a terribly high murder rate, so the solution is more officers, and groups of citizens writing reports about why this is happening to us. 

When I say "solution" I mean short term solution.  More officers make us feel safer.  Maybe, just maybe, it slows down the murder rate while we finish our reports.  It's just a band aid, though.  The real culprit is the Duval County school system, with a high school dropout rate around 50%.  That's not a new statistic.  Things have been bad in this county (and Dade) for a long long time.  Think maybe them chickens are comin' home to roost and showing up in the crime stats?

Maybe cleaning up education (see, e.g., obliterating the FCAT, the prep for which bores students to tears) would produce more long term benefits in the crime statistics.  But the current slate of politicians won't be around for that.  Won't get credit for it.  Band aids, on the other hand, sound really good on t.v.  Plus, we're all scared of crime.  If we're scared, we want it fixed.  Now!  Bad education?  That's kiiinnddda scary, but it's a slow kind of scary.  We can deal with it later. 

We'll delay production of bright, creative and motivated citizens, because we're skeeered of black people with guns.  Who's fault is that?

Maybe we ought to put ourselves in position to allow the U.S. to maintain (or re-achieve, depending on your viewpoint) its place in the world.  Hell, right now we can't even make a decent car.

Meanwhile the feds are giving money to banks for taking unnecessary risks, to bail out people who took unnecessary risks with their homes.  And a slice of the pie goes to the car manufacturers -- anyone who was born in the 70s or later could see this comin'. How is any of that money going to work its way back into the educational system? 

Soon we'll be too dumb to care.  And that, of course, is when we'll get the money.  Because the money goes to the dumb and the greedy.

Imagine how pissed I would be if I actually had kids!

Screw the Republicans. Literally.

"The Commonsense Guide to Understanding Numbers in the News, in Politics, and in Life" is a new book with a longwinded title that attempts to do exactly what it says.  The authors (Michael Blastland and Andrew Dilnot) take all those numbers we see on the news -- those misused statistics that are so attractive -- and debunk them.

For instance, consider a news story that says there is a correlation between big hands and better reading comprehension.  This is a classic case of two factors being correlated, but not causally related.  It may be that these two things go together, but having big hands does not cause better reading.  And so they found.  Bigger people have bigger hands.  Adults are bigger people.  Adults are better readers than children, who have small hands.

Or the study that showed Republicans enjoy sex more than Democrats.  Good dating tip, I guess.  But more men vote Republican than Democrat.  And men claim to enjoy sex more than women. 

I haven't read the book yet.  These examples are from reviews I've seen.  The book sounds like the flip side of Steven Levitt's "Freakonomics," which I read a couple of years ago.  In Freakonomics, Leavitt explains things like why legalization of abortion has reduced the crime rate.

So in Freakonomics, sometimes things that don't seem to be related, actually are.  In the Commonsense Guide, things that seem related, actually are not.

Out On a Limb of Your Own Choosing

Last night I went to a lecture by Tukufu Zuberi, from PBS' History Detectives.  This guy isn't just a t.v. personality. He's a professor of sociology at University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League school.  A smart guy.  His lecture was entitled "Taking A Look Back at Negro League Baseball."

I was excited, because I'm a huge baseball fan and I've read a lot about Negro League baseball.  Unfortunately, Professor Zuberi cannot say the same.  I'll post the more baseball oriented portions of this rant over on my baseball blog, but my point in this post relates to speakers, lecturers and teachers generally.

It seems to me that if Professor Zuberi is uninformed about baseball he either (a) should not be giving a 100 minute lecture about baseball or (b) he ought to get up to speed before he gives such a speech.  Instead, he used baseball as a hook to draw an audience.  If you combined everything he said about baseball in this lecture, it might (might) add up to 5 minutes.  And much of what he said about baseball was generic references about "those men playing on the field".  There was little-to-nothing about baseball's special place in history and race relations. His baseball knowledge was below average for even a casual fan.  (Don't most of you know that Babe Ruth hit a lot of home runs?  Professor Zuberi thinks he had 700 hits.)

And he knew that he didn't know what he was talking about.  Twenty five minutes into the lecture he had yet to mention baseball.  He said to the audience "What does this have to do with baseball?"  He laughed.  He said the baseball stuff was coming, but he wanted to orient us to history so we could understand where he was coming from.  Yet he never got to baseball, simply meandering along about racism and "re-remembering history."  He knew baseball was not part of the lecture, and he knew we were wondering when he was going to get to it. 

Occasionally he'd take a stab at something baseball-related, almost always got it wrong and looked uncomfortable doing it.  When someone in the audience would correct his errors, he'd say "I told you I don't play baseball; I'm just a fan."  Uh-huh.  What does playing baseball have to do with analyzing its place in history?  That doesn't make sense.  It's the fans and other observers who understand baseball's special status.  It's the fans who know the player's names, the stats, the history!

There was exactly one reference to Negro League Baseball in 100 minutes, and that was near the end.  It was a reference to Pop Lloyd, and the reason Professor Zuberi knew that name was because he had done an episode of the History Detectives about a field named after Pop Lloyd.  I found it strange that he didn't pick up a few baseball things in the course of doing that story.

I'm a faculty member at a graduate school, and sometimes when we hire new faculty members, they will ask me if I have any advice for the classroom.  I always start with this:  Never pretend to know the answer to something you don't know.  The students will figure it out.  Always.  Your credibility will be shot.  And that reputation will stay with you as long as you are here, and perhaps at your next institution too.

So too Professor Zuberi. He is obviously a smart man, a good speaker, and a talented sociologist.  He made some good points about the perspective of the various wars, depending on which lenses you were wearing at the time.  And he was undoubtedly inspirational to the audience with respect to the way we should think about race.

Yet in a lecture about baseball, he clearly did not know his baseball stuff, and he tried to hide it with generic references and by practically avoiding baseball altogether.  His errors were obvious and were caught by the audience quickly.  A true baseball fan could mark him as an imposter very early on.  The way he talked about the game is the way people talk about it when they don't watch it and never played it and haven't studied it.  The last of those is his greatest crime in the context of this lecture. 

As smart as he may be on sociological matters, I would not read anything he writes, nor listen to anything he says, because for me his credibility is shot.  Had his lecture been called "Re-remembering African American History" I would have been happy about the lecture, and he would have been in his element.  Instead, he lured people (including a few former Negro League players) with the promise of baseball, and then not only neglected it, but undermined his own status by fumbling around in an area he does not understand.

Think about that, the next time you have to give a speech of your own.  Talk about what you know.  And if you are required to speak on a topic that you are underinformed about, get up to speed. 

Groundhog Day

So a bunch of people got up on a freezing cold winter morning in Pennsylvania to watch a hole.  Actually, that may not even be true.  They may simply watch some groundhog owner announcing the results of the owner having already watched a hole.

This has been happening since 1887.  In a place with a simply horrible name:  Gobblers Knob.  Sounds like a fictional setting for a porn flick.

Needless to say, today's Phil is not the original Phil.  Even the hardiest groundhogs in captivity live about 10 years.  In the wild, they may live up to 6 years, and most live 1-3 years, thanks to traffic.  Since all the Phils are in captivity, let's go with an 8 year life span.  That's a plenty long life to pass on the weather knowledge to the little uns. 

This would be the 15th generation of Phil.  The Phil selection process must be interesting.  Let's say we have the original Phil (our proverbial Adam) who copulates with the proverbial Eve, groundhog style.  Groundhogs have one litter a year, with 2-9 pups.  Which of those became the next Phil?  Is it like royalty, where the oldest male gets the job?   Is there fratricide, where one of the younger males knocks off the older male to rise in standing?  Have there been any female Phils in years where there was no male lineage, or did the folks in Gobbler's Knob substitute a male groundhog just in case someone decided to look between its little legs?

And how do we know if the damn thing sees its shadow or not?  I suspect a groundhog does not even know what a shadow is.  Perhaps a frightened little expression appears on his face at the sight of a silhouetted apparition of himself, allowing the observers to say he saw it.  Or perhaps a groundhog expert, trained in the ways of the groundhog (much like Carl in Caddyshack) interprets his actions as yay or nay.

Apparently in 112 tries he has seen his shadow 97 times.  Why all the hubub, if he's going to predict six more weeks of winter 87% of the time?  Besides, it's Pennsylvania, and it's February 2.  Six more weeks of winter isn't exactly going out on a limb.  A human with a groundhog sized brain could tell you that.

What happened in the other ten years?  That is, if the first groundhog day was 1887 (122 years ago), but his record is 97-15, what happened in the other ten years?  Sadly, we'll never know.  The official site says for those years there is "no record".  The last year with no record was 1899, which is the year the Groundhog Club was formed.  "God forbid we miss any records hereafter" they declared!  

In any event, no one takes this seriously anymore...not even the official Groundhog Club.  On the other hand, I wonder if there is a single morning television show, whether network or local, that will not include it in this morning's stories. 

Ubiquitous television news stories, and people standing in freezing weather, all to observe a tradition that came from the Germans use of a hedgehog (porcupine) in connection with predicting the weather on Candlemas thousands of years ago.  As if religion does not serve as sufficient evidence, this whole groundhog thing reminds me what a strange species we are.

So, Do You Like It Greasy and Smelly?

The U.S. Dep't of the Interior is now saying they've discovered that department employees "used cocaine and marijuana and had sexual relations with oil and gas company representatives."  This one offers up so many cheap shots that I don't know what to do with myself.  Drilling? Lube jobs?

But I won't stoop to that level.  I'm going to stoop to a different level.  When I first heard the story, I had a thought I'm not proud of.  I thought "Sleeping with oil and gas company representatives?  Gross!"  For this post, then, I'm going to identify a few more influential groups whose representatives I think it would be gross to have sex with.

• Milk homogenization representatives (Milk Industry Foundation)
  
• American Podiatric Medical Association
• Obesity lobbyists
• National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, particularly the Chlamydia Division
• Plumbing and Drainage Institute
  
• Focus on the Family
  
• American Backflow Prevention Association
  
• People from Texas 

It's pretty unlikely I would run into most of these people anyway.  I might accidentally bump into someone from Focus on the Family, but they are probably abstinent -- or at least would claim to be.

I would make the list longer, but hopefully you can add to the list in your comments to make this more interesting.

Change Your First Name, Before You Get Arrested

A recent study out of the University of Pennsylvania finds that the more common a boy's first name is, the less likely he is to commit crimes.  And, the less popular a boy's first name is, the more likely he is to be a juvenile delinquent.

For example, Michael and David are pretty safe.  Alec, Ernest, Ivan, Kareem and Malcolm are not.

There's obviously a lot (too much) to explore here, but I note that first names are more diverse than they used to be.  Prior to 1950, approximately one-quarter of all boys and girls got one of the Top 10 names.  On the boys side that meant James, Robert, John, Michael, David, William, Richard, Thomas, Charles and, surprisingly, Gary. 

Today, only one-tenth of boys and girls have a Top 10 name.  Uh-oh.  Does that mean there will be proportionately more crime? 

Of course, this study is going to have some built in bias.  It is well known that our prison population is disproportionately (and disconcertingly) non-white, and of course, it is the whites who are the biggest factor in deciding what the most popular names are.  It stands to reason, then, that the more unique names provided by African-American parents, and the foreign names provided by people who have immigrated from other countries, would gel with our disproportionate criminal treatment of minorities.

I, for one, love unique names.  Sometimes they are funny, but sometimes they resonate.  Plus, I have to admire parents who go "off the board" and make up a previously little-known name for a child.  In a way, it's like art; a creative vision of how you think of the child, or who you want the child to be.

I wonder if you would be able to guess how many of the Top 10 boy names from 1950 are still in the Top 10 today (as of 2007).  Without looking, I'll say six...the first six listed above.  All very common names.

Wrong. These were the Top 10 boy names in 2007:  Jacob, Michael, Ethan, Joshua, Daniel, Christopher, Anthony, William, Matthew and Andrew.  Only two in common with the above list.  And still a fairly boring set of names. 

If you are curious, none of the Top 10 girls names in 2007 were in the Top 10 in 1950.  Good riddance to the #1 name from 1950:  Linda.  I mean, a few Lindas here and there are okay, but as the MOST popular name in the entire country???  I'm also split on the #1 girls name from 2007:  Emily.  On the one hand, I love the name and like to hear it.  On the other, I don't want it to be so watered down.  After all, virtually every Emily I've ever met has been beautiful.  Once the name is #1, there are bound to be some hideous people that end up with the name and take it down a notch.

In the year I was born, my name was #16, behind Anthony and ahead of Steven (take that, Steven!).  In Florida anyway.  In the nation, it was #9, just behind Richard and ahead of Thomas.  That's disappointing...to be so ordinary.  On the other hand, it looks like I won't be incarcerated.   For newer Jeffs, not so lucky.  It was #190 in 2007.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: Cancel the Wall Street Journal Subscription

With the economy all haywire, I'm going to be relying a lot on this blog, though I'm slightly discouraged that it has one post -- and one post only -- dated January 26, 2007.

The dollar was smooth although the data were absolutely upbeat today. ... E.E.U.U. CPI rose the 0,5% last months, and base CPI increased 0,2% according to the awaited thing. The new homemade sales rose in an annual index of 1,642 million December, on the estimation of 1,59 million.

Where else are you going to get reliable financial data like the "awaited thing" and "homemade sales." I tell ya, when the awaited thing starts dropping, and homemade sales slip, I am selling all my stock and putting my money in the cookie jar.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: Dating Tips You Can Use

This isn't really a blog, but the person who posted this used to have a blog called "datingtipsformenseekingwomen."  Now, it's apparently a business.

I like Tip #6:

6. Make sure that your request for a date does not pressurize the person in any way.

Good advice, unless you are asking someone out while in space or under water.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: Loving Lara Croft

Okay, I shouldn't do this.  Pick on the same guy twice.  But this blog is priceless.

Can somebody imagine loving a imaginary person ? I did that for a long time. I love Lara Croft, and I am still loving her. ... If the imaginary and the real world collide for some strange reason ... and she will become a real person (just imagine that it was possible, never mind that is impossible, is just an example) and call me at 3 AM in the morning and ask me to help her:

- Hello I am Lara Croft. I know you love me, and I need your help. I need you to give your life for me. I know that is not fear but I need your help.

Believe me that I will do that without any hesitation. Yes, is crazy, I never meat her, I never have the the occasion to that.  So that's what I think is the real love. An unconditional love...

I have nothing to add, except that I'm prrrrrettttttty sure he isn't going to meat her.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: MySpace Blogs

MySpace blogs are the best, because they are just public diaries where the blogger either spews the barest emotions for anyone to read, or simply thinks he/she should start a blog because it's a kewl thing to do.  Here's a good example from Matt, who at age 34, ought to know better.  All the quotes here are, btw, in one long paragraph.

Hi. I hope everyone is well, healthy, and happy. I entitled this "My First Cryptic Blog"-- because I'm gonna go everywhere in the next couple of minutes and leave it to you to come to your own conclusions. I'm gonna also describe things to allow you to know what's actually going on around me at each moment. This isn't gonna be a inspirational or story-telling blog--but it's gonna be very thought provoking. "Blurry" by Puddle of Mud is playing on my ITunes right now. I am drinking a cranberry and vodka that I made myself in my hotel room. Tonight myself and one of my best friends just watched "Ghost Rider"--thought it was good. I just got a text from someone I'm very interested in, but have no idea how it will pan out. I had one of the best meals I've had in a long time at Chevy's today.

Truly thought provoking, particularly the incredible meal at a national Tex-Mex chain. It's a bad sign when the blog advertises how cryptic the author believes he is.

My dreams have not yet overcame my memories...

I don't know what that means.

In case you didn't know, no one came to me with the terms "Version One" and "Mattitude"--they were terms I created and made on my own.

That's not what my Oxford English Dictionary says. Really, you invented the words "Version One"???

I'm turning the thermostat in my room up to 74 right now--it's chilly in here. 

I'm going to keep coming back to this blog if I get a play-by-play account of thermostat changes in someone else's house.  Fascinating!

I have a message to get out there, I just need someone to provide me with a beat. Someone told me today, and I quote, that I was "The last true role model."

If that's true, then I'd just like to mention to everyone that I've turned my thermostat in my house up to 70 degrees because my fingers are cold.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: Homeschooling

"Mary Vitamin" gives you her "daily recommended allowance of Marian reflection" on her blog about religion and homeschooling.  I feel sorry for these particular homeschooled kids.

Having a child who really likes dates has helped us to pursue many different types of timelines. Tapping into this child's love of opera has resulted in the creation of an opera timeline. For our date we use the year of the opera’s first performance.

Normally, after watching an opera on video (we haven’t managed to see one in real life yet although I do hope to bring this child to a live performance), we hang a card with the date.

I can't decide which is more fascinating: opera, or an opera timeline. In any event, I recommend starting a homeschooled Chess Club so the kid can actually make friends.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: Holy U2charist!

This one comes from Nellie's Blog.

When she isn't marrying folks or dunking babies, Paige is busy transforming the world, and has come up with something called the U2charist, a eucharist service that uses the music of U2 to help spread the gospel of mercy and charity, and, specifically, the Millennium Development Goals of eradicating poverty. As you'll see (and hear) here, the movement has spread throughout this country and has extended to England, New Zealand and Hong Kong as well.

Who can forget the haunting religious underpinnings of U2's "Party Girl"?

"I know a girl, a girl called Party

Party girl

I know she wants more than a party

Party girl

And she won't tell me her name

Oh no, not me

I know a boy, a boy called Trash

Trash Can

I know he does all that he can

Wham Bam

And she won't tell me his name

Oh no, not me"

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: Satan is Attacking

From the Mission Imprint blog, which to my mind, is really troubling. The blog's subheading is "An expansive Kingdom movement intended to strategically imprint the “Radiance of God's Glory” upon nations of the world through the development of transformational mission communities as the Holy Spirit specifically directs." [Shudder]


Anyway, this was part of a "Miracle Report":

WARNING: Kay and I were talking tonight and as we are putting thoughts together, it seems apparent that all of us are getting serious attack from Satan. Sunday was a hard day for both of us, though we didn't put that together until tonight. I felt like I was in a battle for several hours sunday afternoon. ...

Remember guys...we are not playing defense. We are RUNNING TO THE BATTLE. Let's be agressive. We need to PRAY HARD.

It took you three days to realize Satan was attacking?  Honestly, I thought Satan was better than that.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: For Adrenaline Junkies

This comes from the Car Tunning blog, and no, that's not a typo on my part:

Adrenaline junkies have been waiting for this one for quite a while — the all new Type R pure sports edition of the Civic. Now the wait's over, in Japan at least.

The super Honda comes equipped with a specially tuned 2.0-litre normally aspirated engine matched to a six-speed manual transmission.

Car enthusiasts believe the new Civic may reach 65 miles per hour with a proper tail wind. Adrenaline junkies are advised to consult with their doctors before getting behind the wheel.

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: He's Gone

Stephanie writes on her MySpace blog:

SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF HIM
Category: Life

Throughout our time dating we left songs for each other on our page. Romantic songs, sweet songs -- songs about love and forever and how we'd never felt this way before. Dozens, maybe even hundreds of songs....and now, guess what? Every single damn one of those songs is on the radio at some point during the course of my day.

• 500 Miles by The Proclaimers. Yep, he had that on his page for me.
• When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne. Yep, had that on my page.
• I'll Stand by You by The Pretenders.
• The Promise by When In Rome.

 Damn. Can I get away from the memories SOMEHOW?

Yeah, stop listening to the radio. Try this playlist instead:

• Ugly Truth by Matthew Sweet
• Dream On by Aerosmith
• Hopeless Bleak Despair by They Might Be Giants
• Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths
• Digging the Grave by Faith No More

Random Surf in the Blogosphere: Mr. Green Thumb

From the Acts 2:42 blog:

My wish is that Jesus can keep weeding out sin in my life, keep me from evil and allow me flourish, just as the gardens are doing now! In the mean time I'll just keep trying to understand yard work……..

Our Gardener, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.  What would you recommend for dollar weed?  Grass is St. Augustine, Zone 9.  I've tried everything.  Please help.  Amen.

Cual es su nombre?

Driving to Miami last Sunday I saw this sticker on an 18 wheeler:  "God's last name is not 'dammit'".  Awesome! 


First, of course dammit isn't God's last name.  That's a terrible last name. Is Dag's last name "Nabbit"?  Is Gosh's last name "doggit"?

Second, does anyone believe God has any last name at all?  Why would he?  You get your last name from your father's family.  If I understand it right, God is not descended from anything or anyone.  Ergo, no last name.  Query, however, what Adam and Eve's last name was.  Either they didn't have a last name because their "father" didn't have a last name, or God anticipated the need for last names and gave them a random one.  If so, shouldn't we all have that last name? 

And Jesus would have the same last name as Adam and Eve, I think.  Yet everyone knows his last name was "Ofnazareth". 

Third, if God does have a last name, it is almost certainly "Smack".  That is, if you are talking about the Old Testament God.

Fourth, an even better last name for God is "Less."  In fact (if I can use the word "fact" in a discussion like this), "Less" is the perfect last name for God. He has no god himself, right?  So how clever would it be for him to be God Less?  Then we'd have Eve Less. 

But we all know Less is Mo(o)re.







Perhaps there's a God after all.  Damn!

Sami

Forewarning: this isn't going to be a rant.  It's more personal than that.

I moved to my current house about 3 years ago.  There was a friendly couple across the street, with two cats.  They also fed a neighborhood cat that I referred to as "the ragamuffin."  He was very scraggly, and apparently, very old.  Mike and Darcy, my neighbors, said he had been renting his house for 7 years.  Mike's sister lived in the house before that for 7 years.  And during all this time, the ragamuffin was around.  Never belonging to anyone in particular, but mostly eating the food that Mike and Darcy provided.  He slept under their back deck.

A year later Mike and Darcy began having some marital problems and Darcy moved out.  Darcy was the animal lover.  She left behind her two beautiful cats, and of course, the ragamuffin was still around.  Mike made a notional effort to feed these animals, but not much more.  Whether it was because they were a representation of Dara, or because he just didn't care about cats, I don't know.  I began taking care of all three of them.

Darcy's two cats began to live on my patio.  I don't know what their real names were, but I called the white one "Ellie" and the tabby "Alexis."  Darcy would come to pick something up at her old house once every 3 months, stop by mine and say that she was working on a way to come back for Ellie and Alex.  About 10 months later she did.  Without any notice.  I just had a note on my door.  I wasn't too pleased, because they had become my pets. 

I was still feeding the ragamuffin when he came over and didn't find a meal elsewhere.  Somewhere during this period Mike moved out, and of course, he made no provision for the ragamuffin.  The ragamuffin began eating at my house more frequently, but he preferred to continue sleeping under the deck across the street.  Eventually I started going to the deck across the street every morning to put out food and water for him.  He had the house to himself.

I began to call him "Sami".  He was a black cat with long hair.  A white racoon mask on his face and a broad white stripe running from his chin down to his belly and below. Although he had matted fur from living outside, he was very cute from the neck up.  And very sweet.

I started thinking I might like to have Sami living on my patio.  I began luring him to my patio with food and water...and this, of course, saved me from going across the street every day to feed him.  Still, he returned "home" each night and slept under the deck.  On cold nights I'd retrieve him and put him in my garage.  He never liked that, and sometimes hid from me.  He'd rather sleep in 25 degree weather than indoors.

Slowly he began to spend more time with me, sleeping in my garden during the day, and under the deck across the street at night.  When I'd come home from work, he would hear the garage door and come across the street for feeding and brushing.  I bought a wire brush to comb out his mats, and he would roll on his side begging for the brush.  He had a raspy old meow, like you'd expect from an old tom. 

This went on for about 15 months...until Christmas Day, when an already slow 15+ year old cat slowed to about 1/4 of his normal speed.  He stopped eating.  And now, he wanted to sleep in my kitchen.  Uncharacteristic, and a sure sign that his time had run out.

This morning I did for Sami what I hope someone will do for me when I reach that stage.  Painless and five seconds.  I then buried him across the street -- at his home -- with the wire brush he loved.

It didn't seem right that Sami should disappear so quietly.  Here's a small animal who lived by his wits on the streets for 15 years.  Who knows how many times he went hungry.  How many times he was kicked by some cruel teenager, or chased by a neighborhood dog.  How many times he got caught in a Florida afternoon rainstorm, or slept out in the cold.  How many times he hurt himself in the ordinary course of business, like the rest of us, and soldiered through.

I often thought he must have been hit by a car at least once, because I've never seen an animal so careful about crossing the street.  He would wait.  And wait.  The coast had to be very clear before he'd cross.  Then he'd fast-walk -- he couldn't really run anymore -- the shortest distance to his destination.  Never even a close call during any of my observations.

You'd think that sort of hardship would make him wary of people, or animals.  Yet, he wasn't particularly shy around people or the other cats in the neighborhood.  He was wary, but did not panic.  Best of all, he would purr as soon as he saw me.  Before I even touched him.

He was a tough little guy, but very sweet.  I'm going to miss seeing him when I come home from work and brushing him before I go to bed.

So long Sami.