Hollywood Publicists

What a strange job, acting as publicist for a Hollywood star. Recent reports are that the actress Scarlett Johansson (co-star of one of my favorite movies "Ghost World") is marrying some actor from Canada I've never heard of. The news story contained one brief quote: "They're both thrilled," Johansson's rep Marcel Pariseau told People Magazine. Did Marcel sit up all night thinking "What am I going to say if they ask me about the marriage? It has to be something really good. But short. Simple. And sweet. What would Scarlett say if she were answering the question directly, which of course she is totally unable to do. I've got it: 'They are very happy'. Nah. Too boring. 'Thrilled' is better. Or 'absolutely thrilled'...eh, maybe that's too much. It's a Hollywood romance. It can't be that thrilling, and it will be over soon. Think I'll stick with 'thrilled'. Got to remember to say 'both thrilled' though. Don't want anyone thinking that one is thrilled and the other is merely happy. That would be too much like the Angelina Jolie/Billy Bob Thornton romance, and we don't want to be associated with that, especially after Scarlett's character went down on Billy Bob during that car scene in 'Man Without A Face', which resulted in her character's untimely death. We don't want anyone to die here." Apparently, after having her wisdom teeth removed Scarlett dipped one of the removed teeth in gold and gave it to her now fiancee as a birthday necklace. Wonder what Marcel had to say about that one?